In Chapter 12, Harry and his friends attend their first day of classes and have their first encounter with Professor Umbridge. Let’s go!

Harry will have to figure out how to deal with the fact that even some of his friends don’t believe him. Seamus won’t even look at him right now. It’s got to be frustrating. Poor kid.

Guess who’s also frustrated: Hermione. The targets of her ire? Fred and George, who have taken to posting advertisements for people willing to test their latest inventions. She wants Ron to join her in talking to them about this, but Ron is understandably hesitant. Hermione also notices that Harry is not happy.

“Seamus reckons Harry’s lying about You-Know-Who,” said Ron succinctly, when Harry did not respond.

Hermione, whom Harry had expected to react angrily on his behalf, sighed.

“Yes, Lavender thinks so too,” she said gloomily.

“Been having a nice little chat with her about whether or not I’m a lying, attention-seeking prat, have you?” Harry said loudly.

“No,” said Hermione calmly, “I told her to keep her big fat mouth shut about you, actually. And it would be quite nice if you stopped jumping down Ron’s and my throats, Harry, because if you haven’t noticed, we’re on your side.”

That’s my girl, Hermione! Harry has every right to be upset, but not to take it out on the people who are trying to help him. He really needs to remember who his true friends are. Hermione reminds him what Dumbledore had said at the end of last year, that Voldemort is good at making people suspicious and untrusting of each other, and that their best way of fighting him is through friendship and trust. Ron can’t believe how much Hermione remembers EVERYTHING. It’s a gift, Ron. Just be grateful you’ve got her around.

They briefly wonder about how long Professor Grubbly-Plank will be staying, but Hermione points out that maybe Dumbledore didn’t bring it up so that there wouldn’t be too much attention drawn to the fact that Hagrid was off doing something super secret. There is also a brief conversation with Angelina Johnson, who has been named Gryffindor Quidditch Captain now that Oliver Wood has graduated. They are having tryouts for a new Keeper for the team.

McGonagall passes out their new class schedules, which makes Ron lament that the twins haven’t started selling their Skiving Snackboxes yet.

“Do mine ears deceive me?” said Fred, arriving with George and squeezing onto the bench beside Harry. “Hogwarts prefects surely don’t wish to skive off lessons?”

“Look what we’ve got today,” said Ron grumpily, shoving his schedule under Fred’s nose. “That’s the worst Monday I’ve ever seen.”

“Fair point, little bro,” said Fred, scanning the column. “You can have a bit of Nosebleed Nougat cheap if you like.”

“Why’s it cheap?” said Ron suspiciously.

“Because you’ll keep bleeding till you shrivel up, we haven’t got an antidote yet,” said George, helping himself to a kipper.

Yeah, there’s a reason why students may not want to sign up to be testers. Hermione brings it up that they can’t advertise on the bulletin boards at school, which they don’t like at all. They tell Hermione that she will want a Snackbox soon, because fifth year means they have to take their O.W.L.s – big tests that could determine what they do next at school. It’s a very stressful time. Fred and George didn’t do terribly well on their exams, but they don’t think it’s important, considering their plans. They didn’t even want to come back to school, but thought their mom would be upset if they dropped out. And they are right. Mrs. Weasley would not be happy about that at all.

The twins leave after giving a rather cryptic answer as to where they are getting the money to start their joke shop. Remember, Harry had given them his Triwizard winnings at the end of last year, but hadn’t told anyone. He’s not ready for any of them to know yet, either. This brings up a discussion about what they want to do after they leave school, since the twins seem to have their future planned. Ron and Harry think they want to be Aurors, but Hermione isn’t sure. She would rather do something along the lines of S.P.E.W.

Their first day continues. A boring class in History of Magic, as usual. Harry gets a chance to talk to Cho, but is interrupted by Ron and Hermione bickering. Snape’s class is a joy as usual, and by “joy” I mean “torturous.” Harry gets his potion wrong and Snape brings it up in front of the whole class, because of course he does. Harry snaps at Ron and Hermione and, later, Ron confronts him about it.

“Hermione and me have stopped arguing,” he said, sitting down beside Harry.

“Good,” grunted Harry.

“But Hermione says she thinks it would be nice if you stopped taking out your temper on us,” said Ron.

“I’m not –”

“I’m just passing on the message,” said Ron, talking over him. “But I reckon she’s right. It’s not our fault how Seamus and Snape treat you.”

Many people don’t like this book because Harry is just angry all the time. They think it isn’t in character. To me, it makes Harry seem more real. Of course he’s angry! He’s been through a lot, and very few people are sticking up for him. It is nice that his friends are still being supportive, while still calling him on his bad behavior.

Divination is next, where they are going to be trying to interpret dreams. Ron and Harry don’t really know what to do, so they just start making stuff up, as per usual. After class, Ron laments about how much homework they already have on the first day. Fred and George were right about fifth year – it’s rough! And it’s about to get rougher.

Defense is next, with their new teacher, Professor Umbridge. She starts off the class basically treating them like little kids. In her opinion, their teaching has been a bit sporadic, and so her class will be a return to basics. Her course aims:

1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
2. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.
3. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.

Their only assignment for the day is to read the first chapter, but Hermione quickly raises her hand and points out that Umbridge’s course aims don’t say anything about actually using magic. Which they don’t. Umbridge point blank ignores several of the students’ questions or comments, basically telling them that there is no need to worry about being attacked in her classroom, so there is no reason to actually practice defensive spells. In her opinion, this class has been taught by a myriad of teachers who have led the students to believe they will be attacked at any moment. As long as they learn the theory of the spells, they will have learned enough. Parvati is incredulous that the first time they actually cast their defensive spells will be during their O.W.L.s. Harry is about to lose it.

“And what good’s theory going to be in the real world?” said Harry loudly, his fist in the air again.

Professor Umbridge looked up.

“This is school, Mr. Potter, not the real world,” she said softly.

“So we’re not supposed to be prepared for what’s waiting out there?”

“There is nothing waiting out there, Mr. Potter.”

“Oh yeah?” said Harry. His temper, which seemed to have been bubbling just beneath the surface all day, was reaching boiling point.

“Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourselves?” inquired Professor Umbridge in a horribly honeyed voice.

“Hmm, let’s think . . .” said Harry in a mock thoughtful voice, “maybe Lord Voldemort?”

Yep. That’s it. Harry has had enough. That’s for sure. And having this teacher being willfully ignorant of the dangers of the outside world is more than he can take. And I will say, although as I said before, she was too pretty for the part, Imelda Staunton plays the role of Umbridge perfectly in the films. Wasn’t quite toad-like enough, but still. Her simpering little voice and self-righteous attitude was just perfect.

Umbridge takes ten points away from Gryffindor for Harry’s outburst, but Harry is not letting this go. He continues to push, to stand up for what he saw and what he did. Umbridge gives him detention and proceeds to address the class to say that the rumors that “a certain Dark wizard” has returned is a flat out lie. She also tells the students that if anyone talks to them about Dark wizards returning, they should come to her straightaway. Harry pulls out the big guns.

“So according to you, Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord, did he?” Harry asked, his voice shaking . . .

“Cedric Diggory’s death was a tragic accident,” she said coldly.

“It was murder,” said Harry. He could feel himself shaking. He had hardly talked to anyone about this, least of all thirty eagerly listening classmates. “Voldemort killed him, and you know it.”

This is so ballsy! And terrifying! I also think it’s sad that Harry hasn’t talked to anyone about this. Do they have therapists in the wizarding world? I’ve been saying it all along, but this boy sure does need one, with everything he’s been through.

Umbridge gives Harry a piece of parchment and sends him to McGonagall. The note basically explains what Harry did in class and says that he has been assigned detention every evening this week.

“Is it true that you shouted at Professor Umbridge?”

“Yes,” said Harry.

“You called her a liar?”

“Yes.”

“You told her He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is back?”

“Yes.”

Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, frowning at Harry. Then she said, “Have a biscuit, Potter.”

I love her so much! She can’t interfere with another teacher’s punishment, but she has her own ways of making sure that Harry knows that she’s on his side. By giving him cookies. She also helps Harry realize that this is more than just about whether or not he or Umbridge are telling the truth or telling lies. More than ever, Harry needs to control himself. She asks if he remembers what Umbridge said at the feast, and when Harry sort of answers, McGonagall is grateful that at least Harry listens to Hermione.

We all are, Minerva. We all are.

See you next time for Chapter 13!

In Chapter 11, we meet the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Let’s go!

Yeah, when the school weirdo claims that she can also see the scary skeleton horses, it’s not encouraging. And when I say school weirdo, that’s not a slight. I was my school’s weirdo, so I have they hold a special place in my heart.

On the carriage ride, they all discuss where Hagrid might be, since he wasn’t there to greet the first-years. Luna mentions that all of Ravenclaw thinks that Hagrid is not a good teacher and kind of a joke, which Ron takes great offense to. Don’t get me wrong, I love Hagrid – but he’s not a great teacher. He’s doing his best, though. I’m sure of that. Harry even tries to see if there are any lights or anything at Hagrid’s hut as they go by, but can’t see anything.

They arrive at the Great Hall, where Luna leaves to sit with the Ravenclaws and Ginny leaves to sit with some of her fourth year friends. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville sit down near Nearly-Headless Nick, Parvati and Lavender. Harry scans the teachers’ table looking for Hagrid again, but he’s not there either. They speculate that maybe he hasn’t come back from that mysterious mission that Dumbledore had sent him on. They also notice a new professor.

“It’s that Umbridge woman!”

“Who?” said Hermione.

“She was at my hearing, she works for Fudge!”

“Nice cardigan,” said Ron, smirking.

“She works for Fudge?” Hermione repeated, frowning. “What on earth’s she doing here, then?”

No time to speculate, as the first years have arrived. The Sorting Hat is on its stool and begins its yearly song, but with a decidedly more somber theme than in previous years. Where it usually just talks about the four Houses and the qualities they honor, now it mentions Hogwarts being in trouble and the urgent need to be united. According to Nearly-Headless Nick, this isn’t the first time the hat has done this, however he doesn’t have a chance to elaborate before the sorting begins. After the last first-year has been sorted, Dumbledore gives a brief welcome and tells them to begin.

Nick continues his explanation. The Sorting Hat always gives warnings at times when it feels the school is threatened, and those warnings are always the same: “Stand together, be strong from within.” Ron wonders how it knows if the school is in danger, considering the fact that it is a hat, although as Nick points out, it does live in Dumbledore’s office. I’m sure it hears lots of information from there. Harry can’t imagine getting buddy-buddy with the Slytherins, and I agree that it would be a stretch. I can’t imagine the Slytherins, any of the ones that we know anyway, offering a hand of friendship.

After they finish eating, Dumbledore stands again for a few announcements, mostly about the Forbidden Forest and the list of items Filch has that are not allowed on school property. He also announces that Professor Grubbly-Plank will be teaching Care of Magical Creatures, and Professor Umbridge, who will be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. Before he can go on, Umbridge clears her throat and stands up, intending to speak. Dumbledore immediately sits down and gives her a moment to do so, although the other teachers are not very happy about it. Umbridge addresses the students as though they are little kids, which makes Harry’s attention wane, but she also says some pretty interesting things.

“There again, progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation . . . because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whearas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.”

The boys don’t get a lot out of that, but Hermione does. As Dumbledore applauds politely and then continues his announcements, Hermione tells them what all that “waffle” means: the Ministry wants to interfere with how Hogwarts is run. Remember, Fudge was not happy when Dumbledore overruled him on Harry’s expulsion. Now he has someone who is perfectly positioned to be a Ministry mole, and we already know Umbridge is close to Fudge.

Hermione also reminds Ron that they are required to show the new Gryffindor first-years to their dorms. Harry immediately notices that some of the students are staring, pointing, and whispering about him. He realizes that, after the events of the Triwizard Tournament, he should have expected this. He did reappear with Cedric’s dead body right in front of the whole school. When he gets to his dorm with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, he learns that Seamus’s mom didn’t want him to come back. Turns out a lot of people are turning against not just Harry, but Dumbledore too, due to the stories being published in the paper.

Harry loses his temper, as does Seamus, but Ron breaks up their fight. Neville pipes up and says that he and his grandmother think the Daily Prophet is rubbish. They believe Harry and Dumbledore. As they all get ready for bed, Harry worries that maybe Dumbledore is angry at him for all the trouble that he’s caused, especially if Dumbledore has had people lashing out at him the whole summer for it. He also wonders how many other students are going to come at him the way Seamus did.

See you next time for Chapter 12!