This week’s Daily OM prompt in “A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self” is a bit of a weird one. Not because it isn’t a valid question, but because I don’t really know the answer.
If I were to ask myself what is missing from my life, I could come up with several things in my life that are “missing” right now. My dad is no longer with me. He passed away 20 years ago. Of all the things missing in my life, he is a big one. He never got to meet my daughter or my husband, since he died before they came into my life. I miss him all the time, although since it’s been so long, it’s easier. Not easy, but easier. This is one answer to the question that I really can’t do much about. Nothing can change the fact that he’s gone.
Are there other things missing from my life that I could actually do something about? Potentially. Another thing I miss a lot over the past two years is having friends. It’s not that I don’t have any friends anymore, but it’s really hard for me to see them. Since it is hard sometimes to make friends as an adult, I got really lucky when I got involved in the local community theater scene a few years ago. Not only was getting the chance to perform exciting, I also had a whole bunch of new friends come into my life.
There are several reasons why I don’t see them much anymore. I had to give up theater, first due to everything shutting down due to Covid and then again once I had Covid and still have issues. Put that all together with my increased social anxiety and paranoia about getting Covid again and it’s a perfect recipe for avoiding people, even people that you desperately miss. Ever since theaters opened back up, I’ve tried to at least go to a few performances so I can support my friends from the audience, but while it’s fun, it’s not the same.
There’s also just a strange general feeling of emptiness that I get sometimes. Like I know that something is missing, but I just don’t know what. It most likely has to do with depression so hopefully once I can go back to my doctor, we can discuss some solutions for that.
Categories: Daily OM
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