First Day of School

So . . . I’m starting to feel emotionally attacked by Facebook.

My kiddo, who as many of you know, has been going through a very rough few years, started high school today. Yep, she’s a Freshman! It’s been emotional getting her ready for this, not just because of all she has been through, but just because this is such a big life moment for her. High school can be a defining part of someone’s life and I am hoping so much that this turns out to be good for her. She is an odd kid, definitely marching to the beat of her own drum, and I know this world is not always kind to people like her.

How does this relate to Facebook? They have been sharing all my memories over the years, starting with pictures from her kindergarten open house and other first day of school pictures, back when she was a happy, healthy kid. After several years battling with depression, borderline eating disorders, a runaway attempt and major suicidal thoughts, seeing the bright, happy little girl she used to be brought me to tears. I miss that happy girl with the easy smiles and the cheerful attitude. We started losing it, bit by bit, around 4th grade and hit rock bottom last year in 8th grade. I actually had to withdraw her from school and homeschool her for the rest of the year. After that, we applied for and got accepted for a IEP (individualized educational plan) due to being diagnosed with a learning disability that was exacerbating her emotional issues.

We attended the orientation for her high school last Wednesday which was completely overwhelming, but at the same time, we both made it through. As two people who have severe anxiety disorders, you can imagine that it was a bit tough. Overall though, we felt really good about the school. She has some very good teachers who seem like they will be very understanding and will work with the IEP. Now all we can do is hope and work hard. The kiddo is so far feeling very optimistic, or as optimistic as she gets, and has promised to do her best to stay focused and stay organized. Finally finding the right medication has done wonders for that, as well as the right combination of doctors and therapists. She also seems to understand that she got way too involved with other people’s drama last year and has made a goal to stick to her school work and not to worry too much about the rest of that stuff right now. It seems like a good idea.

So Wednesday night, I started feeling pain in my right eye, and a doctor’s visit the following day showed that I had a pretty major eye infection. So now, not only was I out of work for the orientation, I spent Thursday and Friday out of work with my eye swollen and gross. It’s much better, thank goodness, but between that, trying to get everything together for the first day of school, and having car trouble, I’ve been a bit of a wreck. The last couple of blog posts were ones I had pre-written and scheduled (one of them being a blog tour, so I’m glad I had that ready to go and didn’t miss it!), but other than that, I was pretty much silent online. No blogging, no social media. I had shut down. I didn’t even really get much reading done. We watched some movies and videos, played a few games, and tried to relax as much as possible.

This morning, after a nervous night, the kiddo went off to school without a backward glance. She did text me after she got there with a video of her and her best friend being goofy in the cafeteria as she waited for classes to start (she gets there pretty early). She sounded relaxed and happy again. A good sign.

Sorry if this post was a bit long and rambling. I don’t usually bring up personal issues on this blog, since that’s not what it’s for. This is my place to be silly and gush over books, not to cry about how my baby is all grown up now. 🙂 But it is the time of year when parents all over post pictures and share stories, so I figured I’d share mine. No pictures, because she wouldn’t dare let me take one, but stories. The story of a girl who is growing up so fast and is becoming an amazing young woman, facing obstacles, and finally, hopefully this time, overcoming them.


Categories: Drabbles

6 replies

  1. Denise, I had no idea this was all going on with you. I’m so sorry that you and your daughter have been having a hard time, but I am so glad to hear that she was enjoying her first day with her friend. I know it was just the morning so you’ll probably have to ask her how the rest of the day went, but just knowing that she went to school today without any concerns must have been a huge weight off your shoulders. I’m always here for you if you want to talk about it.

  2. I’m glad your daughter had a good first day of school. Bullying is such a difficult thing to go through. I hope the rest of the year is a happy one for her, too.

    Thank you for giving us this glimpse into your personal life.

    How is your eye feeling now?

  3. Glad your daughter and her bestie had a good first day. I hope and pray that the rest of the time will be the same ❤

    I hope your eye is better now too.

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